Inspice Et Fac
Entry to Novitiate, 5 January 2013

Maria and I are the two Novices of Canossian Daughters of Charity. Maria is from Myanmar and I am from Singapore. Both of us came together and we began our pre-novitiate in October 2012. The main purpose of this phase is to settle ourselves down as well as to adjust ourselves to this new environment and community.

Before we adorn ourselves for the evening paraliturgy which was integrated with vespers, we made a 5 days retreat directed by Sr Rosalia Yeo. This retreat has helped me to experience my Lord’s passion, mercy and forgiveness once again. I saw myself standing at the foot of the Cross with Mother Mary. I felt her pain of “losing” her son. My heart lost a beat or two, together with hers, as we stood at the foot of the Cross. Despite the pain and agony, Mother Mary has a strong conviction that He will rise as He promised. During one prayer session, I saw, touched and felt the 5 wounds of Jesus as the nails pierced through His flesh one after another. As He remained hanging on the cross, I was extremely moved to see His humility to be stripped of everything except His love. A prayer deep within me was aroused and as prophet Ezekiel prayed, I prayed that God will change my heart of stone into a heart of flesh and I asked for the grace to be open to allow God to put His new Spirit within me so that it is no longer I who live but God who lives in me. I prayed that God will help me to tame my human spirit and not allow it to intervene whatever God wants me to do.

“Inspice et fac” is one of our Canossian’s charism and this was the theme of our retreat. It meant “See and do likewise”. This retreat has helped me to deepen the meaning of this invitation of our Mother Foundress and how I am called to do as Christ did- to be stripped of all things except my love- and that moment of expiation is the moment of the greatest love showed by Christ. God alone is my salvation and for God alone will I live and serve.

The long awaited moment has finally arrived for us to begin our official journey- Novitiate. I was burning with fire deep within me. I was excited and rather anxious and yet there was a deep seated peace within my heart that welcomes me onto this journey which God has led me to. I am very blessed to have many Sisters from other communities to be present this evening to witness our entry. We prayed our vespers together and there was a segment when both Maria and I made an official request in front of our Provincial Council, as well as all the Sisters who were present, to enter this journey. We were reminded of our original call to be a Christian at our baptism and how God has showered His grace so abundantly upon us to respond to His call into Religious life. We were presented a medal signifying our charism, Christ Crucified with Mary at the foot of the cross. Both Maria and I are welcomed into the Canossian family with hugs and kisses from all the Sisters who are present. We also received many greetings and welcome from Sisters who were unable to participate in this paraliturgy and we are assured that they will always be with us in prayers. We concluded this celebration with a “feast”.

I am happy as to where I am right now. I would like to continue to seek all your prayers that I will continue to be open to the call of God in all the things that I do/ see/ say, to continue to cling and hold on to Him in all the steps that I take on this journey and to allow Him to shed His light upon my steps.

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